How I am dealing with my love-hate relationship with jeans...
The piles continue to grow.
My love-hate relationship with jeans began when I was in high school. To date myself, I had an epic pair of Girbeau jeans, no alterations needed, and the perfect wash. Every fall, I would search for a new pair that would outshine the ones from the previous year: a darker wash, a lower rise, a shorter leg. I would bring them out from the winter piles of clothes, unfold them, hold them up, try them on, wash and iron them, and then rehang them in the front of the closet. However, I omitted the most time-consuming part of this process: the torture of realizing that the jeans that I once coveted may not precisely um fit. Some years, the tantrums were less than others, and when that happened, the jean section of my closet was a bit more crowded. And so it would begin…jean season.
However, this year was unlike the others. None of my jeans fit. The "not now" piles doubled in size, and I was left with a pair of boys' jeans. My mind was spinning and racing. What the heck has happened in six months? How have I gained 10 lbs? What have I been eating/doing differently? WHAT IS HAPPENING? (It turns out that by not doing anything different, I gained the weight!)
Does this sound familiar? For years, I have been coaching women in the wellness space and have always identified with all the perimenopausal symptoms that were discussed and analyzed. I, too, have had brain fog, unnerving exhaustion, a short temper, headaches, anxiety, and a rollercoaster of emotions. However, in my smug manner, I thought I had avoided weight gain at this point in my life with my clean diet and routine exercise sessions. Boy, I sure was wrong on that one! As it turns out, the loss of estrogen plays a massive role in not just emotions and internal, unseen symptoms, but it also affects our external. To be blunt, I was looking in the mirror and didn't recognize this woman.
I quickly realized I needed to make a change, or as they say, pivot on this journey. I am still working on shedding the pounds, but here's what I have started thinking about-what if the pounds never come off. I may be entering yet another new chapter, beginning with a new pair of jeans in a larger size! I don’t discredit the fact that the struggles and tantrums are real. But it's time to try a new approach, lean into what's happening, and aim for acceptance. We can all work on eating well and exercising more to increase our health span, which will always be part of my life. But the clothes part is new for me; honestly, I am tired of stressing about the jeans. SO many years! I now have a large pile for a worthy local cause, and it will keep growing as I sort through the piles. Each of my jeans has a story and personality, and I have loved them all…but a pair of new jeans that fit and feel good may have to take over the closet space.
I am not feeling defeated. However, I am learning (albeit slowly) to loosen the grip and know that things might be brighter and easier if I pull it together, put on the jeans that fit, and exhale deeply. Who out there is with me??
If you need more suggestions or help navigating this chapter, please don't hesitate to contact me. I would love to hear from you so we can work through this together.
Leaning into acceptance.
