This post was originally posted on ShareMyJourney.org, where I was invited to be a guest contributor. I am grateful for the opportunity and to begin to share my experience with you all.
“Evelyn stared into the empty ice cream carton and wondered where the smiling girl in the school pictures had gone.”-Fannie Flagg, Fried Green Tomatoes
It wasn’t overnight, but during unexpected moments when I was about 49, there were pronounced changes in both my mind and body. My memory was my first real change. I was out with some friends chatting about a book I had just read, and suddenly I couldn’t recall anything about it- the author, the title, nothing. I stumbled along, saying, “You know that author, she’s the one who made that series on HBO, and that actor played the main character, oh you know, the woman who has brown hair, tall thin, and well the author, she did a Ted talk years ago, she’s funny....” As I blathered, my friends just stared at me, and I realized that what I was experiencing was something new. Soon after, I started to notice the typical menopausal symptoms -fatigue, insomnia, weight gain, erratic moods, and the list. (oh, and the best...increased facial hair and hot flashes!)
Menopause may be a natural state, yet there is no such thing as a standard passage through this time. Through a lot of these changes, I just coped, as we all do. We manage, we smile, and we pretend we are OK. I am a generally positive and optimistic person, dare I say I like to look at life through a full glass. I suddenly saw every glass as half empty, and with that came the waterworks. At first, I thought it was due to some profound changes we were having in our family. We moved to another state, my son left for college, and my daughter was acting ever so typically as a 16-year-old girl. (can bring any mother to tears at times) But, this was different, and it was constant. I would wake up, try to shake the feeling of despair, and then something would set me off, and tears would stream down my face. It went on all day. I did a terrific job of hiding them from my family and clients, but every so often, my kids would catch me, and say something along the lines of, “Mom, seriously, you aren’t crying because I ate the whole bag of Goldfish, are you?”. After several weeks, and one particularly dark and frightening day, I knew that I needed a massive overhaul. As the Captain of the Ship (our family), I knew I had to get a plan together; otherwise, we might end up like the Titanic.
My expertise is in nutrition, so I worked and examined my diet thoroughly. I acted like I was my health coach. I went back to my books and read as much as possible about the effects of nutrition and sleep during menopause. I was dragging throughout the day, so I boosted my clean protein intake, and consequently, I would feel more satisfied and have more strength. I also cut out all added sugar in my diet (this was not easy and took time), but my moods were more stable throughout the day. The sleep issues were dire, for I have always been a good sleeper, and so when I was waking up at 3 am with my eyes staring at the ceiling, night after night, I knew I had to get that under control. Examining my late afternoon snacks and after dinner, treats were not fun. Oh, how I loved my dark chocolate or Halo frozen sweets. But I also knew that I had to balance my insulin by eating a lower carbohydrate diet to sleep more soundly through the night. I knocked off fruit after 3 pm, started eating only clean protein and vegetables at dinner, and kicked the dessert out the door. Truth be told...I didn’t give up my glass of wine! (and I still don’t) I started to get more sleep, and physically I began to feel better.
The average woman goes through menopause in about 4-6 years, so I am just on 2nd base, and I know it’s going to be a tough game. However, I have realized that similar to losing weight and getting in shape, there is no quick fix to emotional stability. As a health coach, I reiterate to my clients that this is a daily practice, and challenges will keep arising, but nutrition can lend a hand in managing the effects of menopause. In addition, I practice yoga regularly, and when it all gets too much, I reach out to my amazing girlfriends for support and laughter. There is an odd relief in knowing that aging, with all its complexities, and confusing adjustments, has the power to make us better human beings, and move us closer to who we are meant to be. We are not less of a person for surviving lumps, bumps, and bruises. We are more.
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